the mini Beach bird: "Doesn't he own a shirt?" Twilight Saga: Eclipse Blow by Semi-Blow Review/Clips

Saturday, July 10, 2010

"Doesn't he own a shirt?" Twilight Saga: Eclipse Blow by Semi-Blow Review/Clips

7/10/2010 02:27:00 PM | Edit Post

*And cue the girls screaming.*

So this is my Twilight Eclipse review. Now I have to say that I was a fan of the books to an extent. So of coarse, I've seen the first one, and dragged through the second one, so it's only appropriate to glamour myself during the third. I have to admit I liked the first movie and the first book, and I have always thought the second book sucked, so I wasn't wanting anything spectacular out of the movie, but now we have come to Eclipse and perhaps it truly has eclipsed my heart... or has it left me with much to be desired? Click *Title Post or Read More to continue*

So, I'm hoping the above clip somewhat sums up the bad acting, yet attractive personality of this movie. No? Well how about this one:

Ok, Ok, so onto the actual review:

So from the very begging I could tell this was going to be a bit much. Recently I've noticed a huge spike in Twilight fans. I personally think this is the reason for the development of the over dramatic high school acting within this series. Now, I will admit the first move had it's own amount of drama high school influence, but for some reason this movie was given the most effort to be as dramatic and over done as possible.

I'm not saying the movie was bad, in fact the drama ads a little bit of subsequential early teen humor, but never the less I found myself chuckling and laughing at all the wrong times. (Often causing other semi-twilight fans to continue my gesture.) Luckily, I waited till all the roars of screaming fans flocked away from the local theater, so for the most part, my theater was filled with about 20 movie goers in their late 20's/early 30's couples. Of coarse the girls clambered on about Jacob. Are you ready?

BAM! Wasn't expecting that one were ya? Lol. But yes, I must say he is a nice piece of arm candy, *melt*, but never the less the forever never-ending childishness of this movie seems to prevail. Unfortunately, I can in NO WAY condone this series to anyone 12 or under. (Maybe a mature 11 y/o at the most.) This is of coarse coming from whether or not you want you 12 y/o daughter fantasizing about a hot native american dog or a tall sparkling abusive, lieing (but ever-loving) vampire. Not to mention the movie was brought to you from the same director of Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night. Surprisingly all three movies have had a separate director, yet have been able to completely seem like the same movie over, over, and now over again.

All though I will say, it once again delivered an amazing soundtrack.

So, let's start from the beginning:

Ahem. So to start off the movie, Bella is sitting... you guessed it, in a field, with yep you guessed right again... with Edward (if I can remember correctly... sad I don't remember isn't it... only been 3 days). Her and Edward once again are spending time thinking about the future. Bella is of coarse upset at the fact that Eward still won't change her and the Volturi is still out to get her.

After that, all I can really remember is Victoria, the hot headed red-haired vampire, out to get Bella. She of corse then runs around Forks surrounding areas chased by both vamps and wolves. All while Edward skillfully and sneakily convinces Bella to visit her Mother in FL by approaching the issue of visitation directly in front of Bella's father, which in turns seals the deal.

After returning to Forks, the scene of "She Has The Right To Know." takes place *see above video. This of coarse is the first time in Eclipse we see conflict between Edward and Jacob, now I bring this up because, it seems to be way over the top high school compared to New Moons E vs. J, almost more than I could have guessed. Which by the way, does any one else think Jacob looks like a horrible version of a Korean greaser in this part? Anyways, Bella proceeds to jump on the back of the bike and be whisked away with Jacob, leaving Eward looking like *excuse my French* f*ked up little dumped puppy, a face not at all attractive nor fitting for him.

Not at this part it's a little fuzzy, and if you've read the book, you can probably fill in my gaps, but I did enjoy the explanation of Rosalie, and her problems with Bella:

As well as more frequent and slightly more intense, yet laughter triggering conflicts between E and J. (This one gets broken up by Bella's father, but is probably my favorite scene:

And hey, we're far enough down the page that I can thrown in a steamy scene. (Cover your eyes!) In which, if I remember correctly, Edward asks Bella to marry him and Bella says yes.

After a while sh*t gets heavy and Victoria starts creating a new born army. At this time the Cullens and the Wolves team up together to help Bella and keep their land sacred and safe. This brings up the question, what does Bella do? Well Bella isn't allowed to make her own choices and is wisked away, once again by Jacob as they run up the mountatin to an astranged platue in the snowing mountains. Now I have to ask, they new it was snowing.... they have lots of money.... why not send them away somewhere. Out of harm, like for real out of harm, not up a mountain located IN THE SAME MOUNTAIN RANGE YOU LIVE IN. Ugh the movie contines with Bella freezing to death, so of corse comes the fun part where E and J discuss Bella safety and future (still not involving Bella mind you) Hmmm... this reminds me of someting, only with a different ending...
Oh yeah:

So everyone goes to sleep, and wakes up to the battle starting. Seth Clearwater, the youngest in the wolf pack comes to relieve Jacob. Some how Jacob over hears that Bella and Edward are getting married and of coarse, like all high schoolers, freaks out and runs to join the fight. Bella stops him (NO WAY! you proclaim) and asks him to kiss her. This is about the point in the movie where Bella decides she is in love with Jacob as well. Edwards once again looks like a road kill puppy.

Fight proceeds to happen, Jacob gets stunned and Dr. Cullen comes to the rescue. After that I think the graduation party happens and Bella accepts gift from both Jacob and Edward. If that's not the ending then I don't remember it... LOL Plus you have some cool factors like the explanation of Alice and Jasper along with some decent fighting.

Although I have to say, once again, the best part about the movie was the soundtrack. So, there's my take, what did everyone else think?